Dear Uterus, why can’t you be more friendly like all those googly eyed/fresh faced uterus pictures I see? Why are you such an angry bitch? I don’t know why you feel compelled to take it out on me every single month when my lining gets an eviction notice. Hey, instead of us hating on each other into infinity, why don’t you let me roll this shit on and we can both feel better?
Directions: Apply to troubled spot as needed.
Ingredients: Arnica infused olive oil, vitamin e oil, essential oils of ginger, lavender, roman chamomile, and helichrysum.
Size: 1/4oz (7.4mL)
Caution: Avoid eyes and mucous membranes, May irritate skin. For external use only. Keep out of reach of children.